Thanks for the ideas Emilian. I did try those, but no dice.
"HP ProLiant Smart Array SAS/SATA Event Notification Service for Windows Server 2003 and Windows Server 2008" wont install because it says there is no supported hardware.
"HP ProLiant Array Configuration Utility for Windows" installs, but doesn't have the ability to email notifications and it's not really clear if it can even detect errors.